Spoken word writer1/26/2024 ![]() My deepest wound grew from my being alone,Īnd last Sunday, we sang in Christ Alone, but I don’t know. It's my shame that screams like an empty home. So I'll keep pretending all is alright as I pray I make it through this uphill fight. I can't let them see my sin, the trash I hide from the light, I’m tied up with insecurities, bound to blindness I’ve been given over to silence.Īnd it's our differences that grew me to be a wallflower an outsider on the inside. I've been walking hallways, driving freeways, looking for the way,īut loneliness and brokenness wrapped their hands around me tight and led astray. It’s the question I can't find the answer to that keeps me wondering. You can find this poem in the rereleased edition of I’m All Over the Place. He kept the dream of being a writer alive in my heart.Īnd slowly I came to realize and accept that this is who I am. ![]() It was almost as if God continued to remind me to be patient and trust. Or maybe I wanted to know how the story ended.īut God, in His kindness kept the answers from me. Perhaps I wanted the easier route to where I am now. There is no chance I would ever be a doctor or lawyer. I’d ask Him why He made me afraid of blood and people wearing suits and ties. I’d ask Him why He didn’t make me good at math or science. Occasionally, while driving home from a long shift at Chick-fil-A, God and I would have it out. Some days it’s easy to doubt your dreams and the person you hope to become.Īs a 26-year-old I found it difficult embrace the person God created me to be with joy and hope. ![]() Yesterday, the same person who asked me to write this poem sent me a quote that said …Īnd if that is true, I must have been doing something right. This was part of the growing and creative process. This only left me feeling empty and conflicted.īut this was only a chapter in the story. Writing felt more like an uphill hobby that produced anxiety and questions, rather than joy and freedom.Īnd when I would sit down to write I would often drift off and begin comparing myself to other writers and creatives. (For what it’s worth, you can be a writer and not work as a writer.)ĥ days a week I woke up at 3:30 in the morning to go work at Chick-fil-A.īeneath the florescent lights and with a tie covered in cows around my neck, I wrestled with my dreams and identity as I worked to pay off student debt. (Apparently this is common for most writers and creatives.)Īt the time of writing the poem I wasn’t working as a writer. I desperately wanted to confidently call myself a writer, but I didn’t feel like I was one. Like most poems from the past there is much I would change about the following piece, but writing this poem allowed me to write the next one and next one and next one and …Īnd sometimes you just have to take the next right step forward.Īt the time of writing this poem I struggled to call myself a writer. It was the first commissioned piece I had ever written. In 2016 I was asked to write a poem for a gathering of 20,000 high school students in New Orleans.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply.AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |